Asalaam’Alaikum! Today, we’re discussing the importance of addressing religious views from early on. When looking for a spouse, despite having a preference to what you think you’d like in a partner, it’s always important to remember where you stand yourself, with religion and with practising it.

Some points to consider when looking to get married include Salah and Hijab, discussed further later, but all of these things first need to be considered for ourselves. My potential spouse is too looking for someone – he/she will also have a set of supposed requirements. Can we meet them? Can we remind ourselves to first perfect our own mannerisms and attitude to religion or should we only expect it from him/her?

  • Salah is obligatory upon all Muslims – we must first perfect our relationship with Allah before jumping to judge others on their relationship, for maybe they are simply more secretive about their prayers.
  • Hijab – loosely translating to “barrier” – refers to a concept of modesty as opposed to simply a woman’s head covering. The first revelation of hijab was for men “lower your gaze” and can be applied to a number of things, including hijab of the eyes, tongue and hands (what you look at, say and do).
  • Zakat, or charity, is a pillar of faith and something taken seriously by Muslims universally. We have to be careful when comparing how we give Zakat and how we perceive the Zakat of others around us. For maybe someone is unable to afford as much, maybe they are also secretive about it. Zakat comes in many forms, some of which include simply looking after your parents at old age or feeding a neighbour.

When we turn these points on ourselves, we can establish a level of humbleness that brings us back to the fact that we are all human beings, we all have our weaknesses, we all have our hardships. Islam teaches us to uplift one another, to make 70 excuses for a brother or sister we see doing wrong. Making sincere dua for a stranger or someone struggling or sinning is more powerful that shouting hatred. The same can be applied to marriage – to approaching your potential spouse with an open mind.

Your future spouse will not be tailor made to your needs. It is important to meet people like-minded, with similar religious views and/or requirements, but the first reflection should be your own. The first set of questioning should be your own. After you have become self aware, have worked out your flaws, your strengths, only then can you embrace a whole new human being. Marriage includes taking on the responsibilities, the duties you are obliged to fulfil and even to expect from your partner.

When we reflect, we find. Next time, we’ll be discussing financial status and what this means for someone looking to get married.

May Allah make us amongst those who love for His sake, are good for His sake and spread peace for His sake, Ameen.


Haajarah Hussain