DIVORCED & LOOKING FOR A PARTNER
Divorce is part of life, it is what Allah SWT has written for many individuals, and this is why we take a personal interest in our clients who have been previously married, to understand their worries and struggles and help them through it, alongside introducing them to quality matches who we feel they may like.
The difference between us and other services? Our experience. We have over 20 years of matching experience which qualifies us to be able to support our clients to the level that we do.
Our matching service will benefit divorced Muslims to meet new professional matches and have quality conversations. We work hard to ensure we only represent individuals committed to finding a partner and settling down.
If you would like to speak with a member of our team to find out more information and ask your questions, simply click the calendar below and book a suitable date and time that works for you.
Not all Muslim individuals who are divorced recognise the stages that they are going through. There is no specific sequence to these emotional stages. It’s not really a checklist.
The recovery process could begin before or after the divorce and may even last years if not identified and resolved.
Everyone deals with their emotions in different ways, some people may feel numb while others it much more. It’s a personal journey, and so is the healing process, which is not discussed enough in many Muslim communities within the UK.
Let’s take a look
Denial is the first stage of divorce.
Being in denial doesn’t mean you refuse to accept the truth. Denial comes from being incapable of processing what’s happening. There’s just too much to take in at once. It’s natural to try and avoid conflict. But there may be very real problems that aren’t going away. Does this sound familiar?
With denial, there may be confusion or fear. Euphoria, the nightmare is ending. Or shock because you didn’t see it coming. You may feel you have to make the marriage work no matter how unhappy you are now. You may cry, have headaches, or be stressed out. Everyone grieves differently, with different intensities.
Anger is the second stage of divorce.
Anger stems from being lied to, betrayed, rejected, deceived, misunderstood, or abandoned. It comes from being pushed into a bad place by someone you trusted.
You may be angry with yourself. Or irritated, frustrated over what’s happening in the divorce. You may find yourself worried, impatient, argumentative, or complaining. You may think you’re being punished. Your faith may be shaken.
Recognise that anger is passion. It can make people behave in ways that don’t reflect who they really are.
Bargaining is the third stage of divorce.
Bargaining is the “What if” stage. “What if I’d done more?” This is the struggle to find answers. To draw meaning from what’s happening. It’s an attempt to eliminate doubt, rehash how you got here, and negotiate a different outcome.
Some feel guilty for not making the marriage work. Parents bargain to stay married for the sake of the children, disregarding a toxic home environment. Some negotiate with themselves or with their spouse.
Depression is the fourth stage of divorce.
Depression comes from sadness, grief, and loneliness. Most people will experience some level of depression. You may question the purpose of life and feel detached from society. You may feel guilty about hurting the kids and others you love. You may be fatigued, lose your appetite, and have difficulty sleeping. You may feel overwhelmed, helpless, and hopeless.
Depression can feel like emptiness, too. It can paralyse. You go through the motions, but nothing is real. Sometimes people get stuck in depression. They can’t shake it off. Don’t let this go on too long. Reach out for help. Talk to a mental health professional about how you’re feeling.
Acceptance is the fifth stage of divorce.
This is where you want to be. Acceptance arrives in bits and pieces. Eventually, you become a whole person again. You know you’re going to be ok.
You come to terms with the divorce and find clarity. You have more good days than bad. You want to spend time with your friends. And make new friends. You start feeling optimistic about making plans and exploring options. It’s about job opportunities, finding a new place to live, and envisioning a new life. You accept that your life will move forward without your former partner.
Be kind to yourself. Take care of yourself physically with hydration and moderate exercise. Pay attention to what you’re eating. Choose healthy foods. Get help when you need it. Talk it out.
You will get through this.
At Personal Match UK, we can support you find your feet and look at a brighter future. Click here to book a call with us to learn how we can help you.