Asalaam’Alaikum! Welcome to the first of our new weekly series. Every week, Personal Match UK will answer our frequently asked questions about marriage and (hopefully) provide a sense of guidance for those who seek it. This week, we’re discussing Marriage for the sake of Allah – be sure to leave a comment and let us know what you think.
Marriage is held of great value in a person’s life. And like anything of value – it requires energy, care and effort. When looking to get married, it’s important to remember why you want to get married. That may sound silly, but think about it. When you really consider the reasons, you realise it makes all the difference. Some people marry to start a family, whilst others marry to start the “next chapter” of their life – after achieving the degree, job or career that they’ve worked for. Others marry because they’ve reached the “optimum age”.
As Muslims, everything we do should be with purpose, with greater meaning. Just how we pray, fast and even practise hijab – marriage too, should be for the sake of Allah SWT. All fard (obligatory) commands come with worldly struggle. This can apply to marriage too. Our Prophet Muhammad SAW told us:
Allah will ask on the Day of Judgment: “Where are those who loved each other for the sake of My glory? Today, on a day when there is no shade but Mine, I shall shade them with My shade.”(Muslim)
This is really important for us to consider when thinking of getting married. A marriage for the sake of Allah has two stages:
1. The intention behind the marriage. It’s always important to link our marriage back to pleasing Allah SWT. Whether you are marrying due to settling down or simply because you’ve reached the “right age” – there’s always room to return our intentions back to following the commands of Allah SWT.
2. After we establish our intentions, we have to consider the deeper meaning behind our intention. Worldly gain will always appeal to man, as he was created a weak creature by Allah SWT – surely this is part of His test upon us. Material gain, wealth and good looks can sometimes steer the way, regarding getting married.
From these two stages of intent, we can gather that it requires more than just having a good intention – because this can still result in us judging people by their looks, socioeconomic status or even culture/background. Of course it is important to be compatible (future blog posts coming up on this) and to feel remotely attracted to your potential spouse (also a future blog post). But if we allow these factors to steer our interest in someone, it can later backfire and result in people realising they have opposing views, mindsets and/or future plans.
Marrying for the Sake of Allah, will always provide. When we indulge in worldly affairs, we end up settling for less or even compromising our religion. This applies in all aspects of life, but in marriage it can have detrimental effects. Regardless of your thoughts right now, it’s important to think ahead. Let’s say, if Allah SWT has destined you to become a parent, would your spouse be a good role model? A good teacher? A man or woman of God? These are all things to consider when choosing a spouse and settling down.
There is always room for discussion and so our upcoming posts will speak more about the factors that affect finding a spouse, compromising and even making the marriage work.
May Allah SWT guide us all to our destiny with ease and sabr, Ameen.