In this age of increasing commitments and packed schedules it is difficult enough to find time to meet someone, let alone get out on that all important first date. This often leads to us to put an immense amount of pressure on the situation, trying to make sure we ask everything of this new acquaintance that we need to know to quickly figure out whether this match has potential. However, the most important questions are the ones we ask ourselves. Here are the top things you should consider when you meet someone new:

What is what’s not being said telling you?

It is so easy to focus on what we are saying while getting to know someone. To try to think up the best question to ask or the cleverest, most interesting reply. Because of this it is very easy to forget that a huge amount of our communication is non-verbal. It is important to pay attention to things such as eye contact, tone of voice, posture and gestures. Body language tells us so much about a person. Do they seem open with their posture? Have a genuine, warm smile? How comfortable do you feel with the level of eye contact?

It’s also important to think about your own body language. Are you saying what you want to say with your posture, voice, smile, etc?

Be sure to “listen” to what this non-verbal communication is telling you. It usually has things figured out, while it can take our mind a little while to catch up!

Treat others as you would wish to be treated!

While we can hope that those we choose to spend time with will always treat us kindly and respectfully, it’s vitally important that we note how they treat others. You can learn a good deal about someone from how they treat waiting staff or anyone else that you may encounter while together. How we treat others is a reflection on who we are as person, pay attention to this and you will gain invaluable knowledge about your date’s personality.

It’s all about chemistry

When it comes down to it, it’s all about chemistry. While you don’t have to be swept off your feet at the first meeting with someone new, there really should be something there to build on. Ask yourself if you feel a spark with the person & pay attention to the answer. This can grow through time but there should be something there to begin with.

If you bear all of this in mind the next time you with someone new it can save you a lot of stress and potential heartache. Remember that what you ask yourself is just as important as what you ask your date, and if you listen to your answers you can’t go wrong.