Don’t Be ‘Try-Hard’ When Meeting Someone New!
We have all experienced that thrill of meeting someone new, someone cool, then felt the panic that they won’t think we are as cool as them. Under these circumstances it is easy to want to embellish or ‘one-up’ the other person, be the story-topper. Resist. You will only come off as insincere, self-centred and entirely egotistical.
Don’t get me wrong it’s important when meeting someone new that you are open to talking about yourself and it can be one of life’s greatest joys sharing and listening to each other’s stories. However, we must always be mindful that it is a dialogue, not a monologue and steer clear of dominating the conversation, thereby coming off as ‘full of yourself’ or inconsiderate.
As we can all be guilty at times of steering the conversation too much in our own favour, here are a few tips to help you from coming off as try-hard or egotistical:
It’s (Not) All About The Money
Don’t discuss your salary or that big commission you just landed or how much your car or house cost during a first encounter. It is at best awkward, can come off as tacky and shouldn’t be pertinent to whether someone is interested in you. You can talk about your career as it pertains to the flow of conversation but steer clear of numbers. You will only come off as materialistic and that money shouldn’t be a factor in whether someone likes you or not.
Keep It Under Your Hat
While you may be incredibly accomplished, sometimes it’s best to keep it under your hat. You don’t need to rhyme off every educational or sporting achievement you’ve ever received in one sitting. While some of this may be off interest (again only if relevant to the conversation), quite often when we start talking about all the great things we’ve achieved we can come off as boastful and make the other person feel less. While you shouldn’t be ashamed of your achievements, you should be wary of putting too much focus on them at the expense of the conversation.
Keep It Relevant
This has already been mentioned a couple of times, but it is important enough to bear repeating – KEEP IT RELEVANT. Allow the conversation to flow and only talk about yourself in a way that is relevant to each topic as it arises. Avoid imposing too much. You can absolutely talk about yourself but rather than, for example, telling them what you graduated with, tell them a funny story about your university experience. And be inclusive, ask as many questions as you answer.
It’s Not What You Say, It’s What You Do
It may be a cliché, but actions really do speak louder than words. Don’t spend all your time telling someone how great you are – show them. Are you caring? Then really listen when the other person is talking. Be interested. Are you smart and interesting? Then be yourself and that will come across in your conversation. You are an awesome, accomplished person – let them find that out for themselves.